


Par-TAY

by bakedgoldfish



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-21
Updated: 2003-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedgoldfish/pseuds/bakedgoldfish
Summary: What do Tang, mysterious memos and cavities have in common? Why, they're the main ingredients of happenin' White House parties, of course.





	Par-TAY

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Par-TAY**

**by:** Baked Goldfish

**Character(s):** Ensemble  
**Category(s):** Humor  
**Rating:** CHILD  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'em, I'm not making any money here, please don't sue me. Tang is a registered trademark of someone else. Again, don't sue me.  
**Summary:** What do Tang, mysterious memos and cavities have in common? Why, they're the main ingredients of happenin' White House parties, of course.  
**Author's Note:** This is soooo stupid. And unbeta'd, too. 

"This party sucks," CJ stated as she sipped the orange-colored drink in her hand. 

"Do you know what it's for?" Ed asked. 

She shook her head, the bad "party mix" music playing a bit too loudly in the background. "I got a memo." 

"The entire West Wing got a memo," Larry put in, glaring at his own orange-colored drink. "What the hell is this stuff?" 

"I'm not sure," CJ replied, taking another sip. "But it tastes kinda familiar." 

"Hey, everyone!" Sam greeted brightly as he entered the already-crowded office. 

"This party sucks, Sam," CJ said, holding up her cup, as if to emphasize her point. 

His happy countenance faltered a bit. "This is a party?" 

"There was a memo," Josh said, wedged in a corner of the room with an intern, a few secretaries, an unusually large potted plant, and Donna blocking him in. 

"Oh," Sam said, a little befuddled. "What's it for?" 

"The memo didn't say," Donna replied. 

"Sam, I was looking for you earlier," Josh said over the strange dance mix. "Where were you?" 

"I had a dentist's appointment," Sam replied, his grin returning in full force. "You know what I always say, take care of your teeth-" 

"Whatever, Sam," CJ said, wishing the neon drink she had was just a little stronger. "This party sucks." 

"Only if you want it to suck, will it suck," Sam replied, going to the punch bowl. 

"It sucks," chorused Ed, Larry, CJ, and Josh. 

"Well, fine then," Sam replied, startled by their group pessimism. 

Toby came in. "What are all you people doing in my office?" 

Ginger handed him the memo. "You weren't here earlier. There's a party." 

He scanned over the memo. "A party? You call this a party?" 

"It sucks," CJ said. 

Cathy came in. "Sam, your dentist is on line one." 

"Okay," he said, going to his office to answer the phone. 

"We've stopped the workings of the government to throw a lame-ass party in my office?" Toby asked incredulously. 

"Well, technically, the government hasn't stopped," Josh supplied. "Congress is still in session, and I'm pretty sure the Supreme Court hasn't gotten the memo." 

"In *my* office," Toby exclaimed. 

"It-" 

"Sucks, yeah, I know, CJ." Toby balled up the memo; when he couldn't find the trashcan, he handed it back to Ginger. 

"Gee, thanks," she said dryly. 

"You're welcome. Is there anything to drink?" 

Josh held up his cup, hoping Toby could see through the potted plant. "There's orange stuff." 

"Orange stuff-" 

"We're not quite sure what it is," Larry said. "It tastes good, though." 

"It tastes good. I'll remember that when I'm dying from consumption of 'orange stuff'." 

Leo came in, wondering what all the commotion was. "The hell is going on?" 

Ginger handed him the balled-up memo. "A party." 

"What for?" 

"We-" Ginger turned her attention to something just over Leo's shoulder. Sam had just come back in, looking ashen. "Sam? You okay?" 

Leo walked over to the punch bowl, realizing that Ginger was no longer paying attention to him. "What *is* that?" he asked, vaguely disgusted as he stared at the orange liquid. Cautiously, he poured some into a cup, and smelled it. "CJ, do you know what this is? 

"Do you have one of those make-up mirror thingies?" Sam asked as Ginger approached him. 

"You mean a compact, Spanky?" CJ called from across the room, wondering what idiot made the choice to play a Monster Rock compilation CD and obviously not hearing Leo's question over Whitesnake's "Is This Love". 

"Do *you* have one?" Sam asked despondently. 

"Not on me, no," CJ replied. 

"Here you go," Bonnie said, fishing one out of her purse. 

"Thank you," he said, grabbing it and opening it up. He opened his mouth and started peering at the tiny mirror furiously. 

Leo sipped at the drink, and looked at the two male staffers standing close by. Ed and Larry were their names, but Leo always got them confused, and so he decided to not ask them any questions for fear of embarrassing himself. Instead, he let the taste of the orange stuff linger in his mouth. "This is Tang," he said, a little surprised. 

Josh squeezed out of his little niche, and walked to Leo. "It's tangy?" 

Leo shook his head. "No, it's-" 

Sam looked up from the mirror. "Josh, can you come here for a minute?" he squeaked. 

Josh wandered over to Sam. "What's up?" 

Leo looked into his cup. "It's watered down," he declared. "Donna, do you know where the thing of Tang is?" 

Donna looked up from her conversation. "Huh?" 

"The thing of Tang." 

"The what?" Donna asked, confused and a little thrown. 

Josh peered into Sam's mouth. "I don't see anything," he stated. 

"It's in there," Sam said, slightly panicky. 

"It's Tang," Leo said, holding up the cup for Donna to see. 

Donna, however, couldn't really hear Leo over the loud guitar bridge, and thought that Leo had made some sort of strange toast to her. She raised her own glass to him, smiling uncertainly and nodding, and returned to her conversation. 

CJ wandered over to where Sam and Josh were standing. "What's up?" she asked, hoping to get at least a little enjoyment by tormenting one or the other. 

Toby surveyed his office. "I need to work, people." 

"There was a memo," Ed stated. "This is party time." 

"It's not much of a party," Toby grumbled. 

Josh looked at CJ. "Sam's got a cavity." 

Leo looked around, lost in thought. "Maybe the thing of Tang is under the table," he said, his eyes finally coming to rest on the cart with a tablecloth on it. 

"Our Sam?" CJ laughed incredulously. "Sam, you've got a cavity?" 

"The dentist was wrong," Sam said, panicking some more. "He could've been wrong, right?" 

Leo kneeled by the cart, and lifted the cloth. "There it is," he said, pulling the container out and standing back up again. "I need a spoon." He looked around to see if anyone could point him in the nearest direction of a spoon. Nobody was looking in his general direction, so he wandered to a filing cabinet. 

Toby ran a hand over his head. "Speeches. I have to meet with Congressmen. There's a party in my office? Just dandy." 

"Did you just say 'dandy', Toby?" Bonnie asked, a smirk on her face. 

"He's got a cavity," Josh told CJ. "But we can't find it." 

"I can't feel it, either," Sam added. "It's not there." 

Leo pulled open one of the drawers of the cabinet. "No spoons," he muttered, though he did find some straws. Pulling one out, he grabbed his drink and the thing of Tang, and wandered back over to the table. 

Charlie peeked his head into the office, wondering why the rest of the West Wing was so quiet. "Okay... " 

"There's a party, Charlie," Donna called upon seeing her coworker. 

"A party?" 

"It's not that much of a party," Toby stated. 

"It sucks," CJ put in. 

"I wonder if you can do that with powder," Leo mused, putting the straw in the container of Tang and capping the open end with his finger. 

"What on earth are you doing?" either Ed or Larry asked (Leo still couldn't tell the difference). 

"Like what you do with water, to get it to fill up in the straw," Leo replied. 

"You can't do that with powder," Josh stated from across the room where he was still checking out Sam's open mouth. 

Ed or Larry looked at Josh. "Why not?" he asked, walking to where the Deputy Chief of Staff stood. 

Toby looked at Charlie. "What do you need?" 

"This is supposed to be a party?" the young man asked, looking around. 

"I couldn't have a cavity," Sam tried to say, but with his mouth open and Josh's fingers spreading it even wider, it ended up sounding more like, "Ah oodent ah a ah-ih-tee." 

"Maybe I can make it into a spoon," Leo said, an idea forming in his head. "Scissors! I need scissors." 

"I don't see anything," Josh said, moving so that CJ could get a look. 

"Stop!" Sam exclaimed, pulling away from the two of them. "Don't look at my teeth." 

"The party sucks," Toby said to Charlie. "What did you need?" 

"I'm... really not sure anymore," Charlie admitted. 

"Why can't we look at your teeth?" Josh pouted. 

"I want to look at your teeth," CJ stated imperiously. 

"My teeth are freakish," Sam said. "I'm... a freakish freakboy with freaky teeth." 

Leo pulled a pair of scissors out of Ginger's desk drawer, and snipped away at the straw until he had formed a makeshift spoon. "There we go," he said almost triumphantly as he scooped out some Tang mix and dumped it into his cup. 

"Your teeth aren't freakish, Sam," CJ said, rolling her eyes. "You've got a cavity. Everybody's gotten cavities." 

Josh added, "And besides, cavities aren't nearly as freakish as, say, woot canaws." 

"I think the President wanted to see Leo," Charlie told Toby, both men obviously distracted and troubled by their surroundings. 

"Woot canaws?" Sam repeated, confused. 

CJ slapped Josh upside the head. "Goober." 

Leo mixed the drink up a bit, and took a sip. "Much better. Just needed a little more Tang." He looked at his watch, realized he was almost late for a meeting with the President, and left the office. 

Sam held the compact to his mouth. "I still can't see it." 

"It could be inside the tooth," CJ said. "They might have to drill more than normal to find it." 

"Drill?" he squeaked, his eyes wide with fear. 

"I just saw Leo a minute ago," Toby said, gazing around through the crowd of interns, secretaries, and other staff. "He's in here somewhere." 

"He was over by the cabinet," Josh supplied, rubbing the back of his head. 

"No, he was by Ginger's desk," Bonnie said. 

"I thought he was under the punch table," Ginger stated. 

"Wasn't he doing something weird with a straw and some orange powder?" Larry asked. 

CJ glanced down at her still half-full cup. "Tang!" 

They all turned to stare at her. 

"Orange powder, it's Tang," she explained. 

They all looked down at their cups, and the only sound that filled the room was David Bowie wailing about the Ziggy Stardust. 

"It's a bit watered down," Donna pointed out. 

"Needs a little more mix," Ed agreed. 

"Where's the thing of Tang?" Josh asked, going off to search for it. 

"We'll need a spoon," Charlie said. 

CJ watched as her coworkers and friends wandered around, looking for the various items. 

"This party sucks," she said, sipping her Tang. 

-end- 


End file.
